In this one juicy post, I’ve gathered a whole host of my most amazing techniques for performing oral sex on your vulva-owning lover! Send them over to the blog to thank me later. 😉
Reassurance
Many vulva owners feel too embarrassed to allow themselves to enjoy oral sex. They might think they look ugly or have a strange taste or smell. They might worry that they're taking too long. Reassure them that you are enjoying the experience, be specific and real about what you love about it. This step is a game changer!!
Consistency
Vulvas enjoy a consistent stroke, so if your partner is enjoying something - KEEP GOING, unless they tell you otherwise. And if they're too embarrassed to tell you verbally, you can read their body language for cues. As Shakira said, the hips don't lie!
Pressure
It's a generalisation, but penis owners tend to be a bit too rough with vulvas, while vulva owners tend to be too gentle with penises. Everyone is different, so play with different levels of pressure, asking for feedback as you go and always start very gently!
Start Slow
A great first move is to use a flat, soft tongue to make long, slow, gentle licks from the vaginal canal up to the clitoris. Repeat again. And again. Mmmm and again!
Lick techniques
Here are some different techniques you can try... you don't have to try them all in one session!
● Lick up and down across the clit.
● Lick to one side of the clit.
● Lick side to side across the clit.
● Lick diagonally across the clit.
● Go in circles around the clit.
Always pay attention to body language to see what's working!
Suck
It might surprise you to learn that the clitoris is the anatomical equivalent of the penis. Many of the things that penises love also feel good for clitorises too. So... try gently sucking your partner's clit and see if it's a winning move!
Penetration
If your partner consents, try including penetration. The female erectile network (clitoris) extends internally inside of the vagina (g-spot), so inserting one or two fingers inside while you use your tongue on their clit might feel amazing.
Bottom Line
Always keep in mind that your enjoyment is also very important for your lover. It’s SUPER hot if you’re into it - and totally obvious if you’re not.
So do it your way! If there’s a part of giving oral sex that you love – revel in it and go wild. If there’s a part you want to avoid – get creative and minimise or remove it altogether.
The most important thing is that you both have fun!
- Lisa Welsh
Lisa is a Sexual Empowerment and Pleasure Coach who helps people to overcome sexual shame and insecurities so that they can step into their true orgasmic nature.
More from Lisa at her website (www.inbedwithlisa.com) or Instagram (@inbedwithlisa).