The world of BDSM is vast & might seem intimidating, so consider this blog a first taster into the first letter of that acronym.
B (bondage & discipline)
D (dominance & submission
S (sadism)
M (masochism)
Bondage is all about tying, restraining, binding & even suspending your partner… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Why?
Let me paint a picture… You’re on the bed with your hands tied about your head, you’re blindfolded, you can sense your partner moving around you, you feel them getting closer, their breath on your body (DELICIOUS ANTICIPATION).
They stroke your waist with their fingertips, it’s electrifying & you want more… they kiss your toes & it blows your mind (HEIGHTENED SENSATION), your adrenaline builds as they begin to tease you - & then stop & then tease & then stop until you’re begging…
OMG. The unparalleled mystery of wondering where your partner will touch you next - coupled with the new sensation of the rope gently chaffing your wrists/ankles… In one word… bondage is exciting. Did I capture your attention? Then let’s get to the serious stuff.
SAFETY
Rope bondage is never 100% risk-free - which is why informed consent is essential.
Take your time & practice knots with online tutorials. There are loads of great ones available. Begin with a single column knot which can be used to bind wrists/ankles & is the foundation of many other ties.
Be careful of cutting off circulation.
Never tie around the neck.
Never leave a tied-up person unattended.
Chat about medical conditions/prior injuries.
Keep a good pair of scissors handy.
TRUST
Bondage is NOT for strangers. So, don’t take your handcuffs to your next tinder date Sophie. ;)
Informed & ongoing consent is essential.
The psychological power play of surrender & control can actually enrich your relationship.
Trust will deepen over time as your BDSM practice progresses.
Use a safe word that will stop all play immediately - Pineapple is a favourite choice!
WHERE TO START
Introduce the idea with a book, a movie, or my favourite line “My friend told me about this thing & it sounds really hot…”
Plant the seed & nurture some curiosity.
If it’s a yes, start simply, you don’t need a whole tool-box to begin. Try holding your partner’s arms down & see what that’s like… “Mmm I loved it when you did that, let’s try it again with handcuffs…”
Then when you get online you can explore the exciting range of tools available. It will feel like you’re opening Pandora’s box of pleasure!!
Moonlight Candy has a fabulous choice of light bondage items to help you take baby-steps into the world of BDSM - to take a look!
- Lisa Welsh
Lisa is a Sexual Empowerment and Pleasure Coach who helps people to overcome sexual shame and insecurities so that they can step into their true orgasmic nature.
More from Lisa at her website (www.inbedwithlisa.com) or Instagram (@inbedwithlisa).