Do you ever feel that everyone else is having way better orgasms than you? Like you’ve kind of missed a pleasure memo somewhere?
It’s no surprise when we are bombarded with wild and steamy sex scenes in movies, and stories in magazines. The truth is, real-life sex isn’t like what we see on-screen. But, there are some great ways to ramp up the heat in your bedroom. Here are 9 of my favourite steps to help you reach orgasmic bliss!!
1. Breathe. Take full, deep breaths during sex to energise & revitalise your body. Breathing deeply helps you to relax, release stress, and open up to more pleasure.
2. Make sound. Allow your body to release any sounds that naturally want to escape. Don't hold it in. Sigh, moan, groan, growl. If emotions arise, sound them out. There is no wrong way to do this!
3. Movement. Give your body permission to move any way it wants to - unleash it from what you think looks sexy & let your body move. Arch, lift, thrust, twist, shake, grab, curl. Let your body be ALIVE! Don't hold back.
4. Mindfulness. Get out of your head - forget about the to-do list. Be fully present with the sensations in your body, in your connection to the source of all energy, to your partner (if you are having coupled sex). Sex can be a potent form of meditation. And staying present means you’re much more likely to experience the big O!
5. Build the energy. Keep the energy building with continued touch. Alternate between kissing, touch of non-genital areas & genital stimulation. Visualise the energy building up, getting brighter & spreading through your body.
6. Stimulate the clitoris. The VAST majority of vulva owners require direct or indirect clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm, so don't ignore the clit! Use a clean finger, penis, toy or mouth - with lube. Try varying strokes to see what feels best and then maintain it.
7. Combine with internal sensation. If it feels comfortable & you so desire, insert a penis, finger or toy into the vagina to provide a feeling of fullness. You can try stimulating the vaginal walls to see if there are any erogenous zones here.
8. Squeeze the vaginal walls. Try to squeeze or pulse the muscles of the vagina and anus, as if you were trying to stop the flow of urine. This pumps up the sexual energy and can stimulate an orgasm.
9. Let go of the outcome. You can't MAKE yourself have an orgasm, you have to let it happen. Try not to 'chase' an orgasm if you feel close. Relax & allow the experience to be whatever it will be & let yourself enjoy it regardless of what happens.
These 9 steps are your homework, and your time to shine baby! Have fun!
- Lisa Welsh
Lisa is a Sexual Empowerment and Pleasure Coach who helps people to overcome sexual shame and insecurities so that they can step into their true orgasmic nature.
More from Lisa at her website (www.inbedwithlisa.com) or Instagram (@inbedwithlisa).